The Honor Was Mine by Elizabeth Heaney

On this day of remembrance, I thought it was fitting to welcome author Elizabeth Heaney to Thoughts in Progress to talk about her recent release, THE HONOR WAS MINE.

Elizabeth's nonfiction release, THE HONOR WAS MINE, tells the human stories she heard from service members when she served as a civilian counselor in the first program offering anonymous professional services to soldiers. The book starts with her adventures as a neophyte learning to provide clinical services in a military culture roughly as easy to navigate as the wilds of Borneo and follows her development into a seasoned counselor who knows how to seize on every subtle hint that a soldier may be struggling and willing to ask for help.

THE HONOR WAS MINE offers the reader a unique, compassionate window into the world of veterans and their families readjusting to life back home, and brings a counselor's equanimity to topics too often explored in strident tones. Elizabeth's neutral presentation of what she heard and learned from our servicemen and women makes us want to hug our children--and our neighbors--in recognition of our common humanity.

A therapist’s journey to heal the invisible wounds of America’s warriors...

When therapist Elizabeth Heaney left her private practice to counsel military service members and their spouses, she came face-to-face with unheard-of struggles and fears. The Honor Was Mine reveals the emotions running deeply—and often silently—in the hearts of combat veterans and their loved ones.

Presenting the soldiers’ stories—told in their own words—as well as her own story of change, Heaney offers readers an intimate perspective, not of war itself but of its emotional aftermath. Some of these stories scrape the bone; others are hopeful, even comical. Every one reveals the sacrifices of those on the front lines and the courage, grace, and honor with which they serve and struggle to truly come home.

For those unfamiliar with the military, this is an eye-opening portrait of the complex, nuanced lives of service personnel, who return from battle only to grapple with the fallout of war while readjusting to civilian life. For veterans and their families, the stories validate the sacrifices and honor of military service. For those who support veterans (doctors, social workers, caregivers and support staff), the book stands as a powerful resource.

Release: September 6, 2016

Publisher: Grand Harbor Press

ISBN: 978-1-50393-574-7

Price: $14.95

Kindle Price:  $3.99

Pages: 283

Distribution: Amazon/Ingram  

eBook Distribution: Kindle, Nook

Please join me in giving a warm welcome to Elizabeth as she tells us a little more about what her book is all about. Welcome, Elizabeth.

         

          The Honor Was Mine carries readers into the lives and hearts of combat veterans who face the daunting task of finding their way back home. Elizabeth Heaney, a psychotherapist with thirty years of experience, arrives at her first military base with no previous exposure to the military and no grasp of military culture. Gone are her comfortable counseling offices with polished wood floors and soft lighting; she now works in cement block rooms and motor pools, in hallways and parking lots. Her ignorance of the military leads her to address an officer by the wrong rank, mistakenly stand in a restricted area, and has her head spinning during acronym-filled chats with soldiers. Counseling sessions are also different than anything she is used to. Unlike her private-practice clients who arrived to sessions eager to share, Heaney discovers that the warriors’ reticence and pride make vulnerable conversations tenuous and difficult. She must learn to listen differently and inquire more carefully as she feels her way into their world.

          Paul tells her he’s been home for five days and isn’t sure how to talk to his wife: a year-long deployment doing solitary work left him more comfortable with silence. A staff sergeant meticulously prepares a dress uniform for his buddy’s funeral and speaks in hushed tones about the fine soldier he was. Deborah, a commander’s wife, sits on a park bench and talks about going to eighty-seven memorial services. These conversations introduce Heaney to the astounding burdens soldiers carry as they return from combat.

          One turning point comes as she speaks with SGT Devereaux. They stand in his cluttered, closet-like office, and he begins by joking about his struggles with PTSD. As Heaney gently invites him to say more, Devereaux becomes skittish and begins to stammer. Then he tells the story of his goofy, gregarious nineteen-year-old friend who went out on a mission and never came back. Devereaux’s voice fails him as his eyes fill with tears; in the silence, Heaney begins to fully realize how much pain is hidden in the hearts of our warriors.

          Over the years, Heaney speaks with privates and commanders, infantrymen and engineers, soldiers fresh out of boot camp, weary warriors who’d been deployed numerous times, and service members from every branch of the military. She helps them bridge the gap between war and home, working with those who have battles scenes burned into their memory, who fight debilitating battles within themselves, and who fear their hearts and psyches may be broken forever. Increasingly, Heaney becomes overwhelmed and scared as she realizes the steadiness she must maintain in order to listen to what the warriors need to say. As she returns to her temporary housing each night, the image of having spent her day “catching hearts falling through the air” haunts her. Eventually, she must come to terms – or not - with how the depth of the soldiers’ needs will never be met within the parameters of her job, which instruct her to help veterans with “short-term daily living skills.”

          Moving back and forth between the soldiers’ stories—told in their own words—and her own story of change, Heaney plays the roles of observer and helper, outsider and intimate. The Honor Was Mine gives readers an opportunity to sit next to her and hear the intimate accounts, not of what happens in war but of the heart wounds that fester but too often remain unspoken and unheard. Until now. The Honor Was Mine shows readers why the phrase “Thank you for your service” is not enough to bridge the divide between war and home. A deeper listening and larger compassion is necessary if our service members are ever going to truly come home.

WHY I WROTE THE BOOK:

Because of the counseling I was doing on bases, I had a view into military life that felt rare – and important. Combat veterans (and their spouses) were talking to me about their most crucial concerns, their most vulnerable struggles. I felt those exact same concerns were the ones that civilians often didn’t know about or didn’t understand. The general public hears a lot about veteran homelessness or PTSD or suicide, but they don’t often get to hear the personal stories, and I believe those have much greater impact than hearing about ‘issues.’ I imagined the warriors’ stories could help bridge the divide between military and civilians, could ‘translate’ some of their experiences – and sharing my own process of change might help others come to understand this part of our American culture.

I also felt compelled to write it because of the sheer emotional impact of the stories I was hearing from veterans. In order to sustain the work I was doing, I needed an avenue for processing what I was hearing because the next day I was going to hear more remarkable, heart-wrenching stories. Writing helped me make room for the next stories, helped me honor what I was hearing; writing the book is my way of standing with veterans I encountered and saying, “I hear you, I see you, I will to listen to what you’ve been through, and I will not turn away.”

It would be easy to imagine the book is pro-military, but it’s actually presented in a very neutral manner. The reader gets dropped into conversations and situations – and can make their own opinions about what they come to know.

WHAT I HOPE READERS WILL COME AWAY WITH:

I hope civilian readers will gain a much deeper grasp of what it takes to serve in our military, the dedication and commitment, the rewards and costs. Perhaps they’ll also gain a better sense of the great divide between war and home, and they’ll understand how terrifically difficult it is for veterans to navigate that chasm. I hope readers will gain inspiration for reaching out to our combat veterans, discovering new ways to engage, listen to and support those who have served.

I hope the book offers military readers validation, recognition and a sense of being honored for the complexity they bear in the job they do. I also hope they feel seen and heard – as a therapist, I know how healing that can be.

And I hope some of my readers will be those who serve the military in civilian roles: doctors, nurses, social workers, etc. – for them, I hope the book offers new insight into those they care for.

Elizabeth, thank so much for joining us today and sharing this insight into your book. Servicemen and woman need our appreciation, help and understand and hopefully your book will help us to better recognize and work together.

Author Elizabeth Heaney

Elizabeth Heaney, MA, had been a therapist for nearly 30 years before she began counseling military personnel. During her years on military bases, she spoke with thousands of soldiers and spouses; she talked with privates and commanders, infantrymen and engineers, soldiers fresh out of boot camp and weary warriors who’d been deployed numerous times.

Her stories are infused with a remarkable freshness, an outsider’s ongoing discovery of the military world’s values and honor, rules and norms, reticence and heart.

For more on Elizabeth and her writing, visit her website.

Thanks so much for stopping by today during Elizabeth’s visit. Today is a day of remembering those who lost their lives and those who sacrificed their lives. In addition, remember those who dedicate their lives to protecting us each and every day both at home and abroad. Do you know someone who has or is suffering from PTSD? Do you have suggestions for showing support to those who serve in the military?  

Author Artie Van Why On The 10th Anniversary of 9/11

Today is the 10th anniversary of a devastating tragedy that has forever changed the lives of millions and the way of life we once knew in the US. My special guest today is Artie Van Why, author of THAT DAY IN SEPTEMBER which chronicles his personal experience of 9/11. He worked across from the World Trade Center and was there in the streets that morning.
 
Artie is here to share his thoughts on the days leading up to this anniversary.
 
My emotions have been all over the map these past weeks as the anniversary gets closer. I'm very aware of the unwarranted pressure I have put on myself in regard to how I personally observe that day. Try as I might, there's really nothing I can do that would be enough in my mind's eye. So I've tried to do what I can; when I can. I have done a number of interviews (for newspaper, radio and TV) which I'm grateful for. It still, to this day, means so much to me to be able to tell my story. I spoke to the whole student body of a high school here in Lancaster, PA on Sept 9.
 
In spite of these opportunities I have felt strongly about being able to do something significant on the anniversary itself. For me, that means being able to witness to the memory of that day. It means sharing what the struggle has been like in the years since 9/11. I guess you could compare it to a eulogy. I just feel the need to acknowledge the day, and my place in it, publicly. Not for the attention, or to make it about me.... although I guess there's a selfish element since doing it would cause me to feel better. But when I try to think of what I can possibly do to honor the memory of those who died, my words are all I have to offer.
 
I'm grateful that my play, from which my book is adapted (also titled That Day In September), was performed on Saturday, Sept. 9, as a benefit for the WTC Survivors Network (an organization that has been very helpful to me). I participated in a talkback afterwards, along with the actor who played me. But that still leaves me with the need to speak on the actual anniversary. I don't know how to convey the importance of that to me.
 
And now that the anniversary is approaching, it seems everyone wants to talk about it. I have very mixed emotions about this. On the one hand, I'm grateful for the nationwide recognition of the day but on the other hand it angers me that it takes an anniversary for people to show interest. I understand that... but I also know that, come Monday, Sept. 12, no one will be asking me to tell my story as they have now. It's as if people will say "okay, that over. Now let's move on." I'm certainly all about moving on. But moving on doesn’t mean forgetting. I won't "forget" 9/11 like the majority of people will after the anniversary. Or rather I'll say they won't be consciously aware of it as I (and other survivors) am. There is not a day that goes by where I don't think of 9/11. I know there will never be enough tears to cry over the horrors I witnessed that day.
 
I’m fortunate in that I will be able to speak at a memorial ceremony that is taking place here in Lancaster on the anniversary. I will be able to deliver my "eulogy." In spite of having my book that people can read; or my play that people can see; there is still the need to talk about that day and my experience of it. Each time I’m able to do that I feel as if I’ve honored the memory of all those who died. It is, for me, a lying of flowers on their collective gravesites. I’m grateful I’ll be able to do that on this anniversary. It is my way of saying “I have not forgotten.”

Artie, thank you for sharing your story with us here today. We must not forgot, but hopefully be able to heal somewhat and continue for those who can’t.

Let me share a bit of background on Artie. Two months after that fateful day, he quit his job of 13 years and spent the next two years developing a one man theater piece (also entitled That Day In September). He performed this in LA and Off Broadway in New York. He moved to Lancaster, PA in 2003 to be closer to his retired parents. That move was a direct result of having lived through 9/11 as family became very important to him. Once in Lancaster, Artie adapted the script and published THAT DAY IN SEPTEMBER as a book in 2006.  

Artie’s experience of 9/11, and how it has affected his life in the years following, is featured on the website of the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) to commemorate the 10th anniversary. The story behind the writing and publishing of his book is included, as well as a video of Artie talking about 9/11 and events that have followed for him. He was also interviewed for That Marketplace on NPR.

For more on Artie and his writing, you can find him on Facebook at  http://www.facebook.com/ThatDayInSeptember. THAT DAY IN SEPEMBER is available at Amazon, Goodreads, and Barnes & Noble  

Here is a book trailer for THAT DAY IN SEPTEMBER.
 

 
Do you have memories of 9/11 you would like to share? Thank you for stopping by today. God Bless America, may we continue to grow stronger each day. 

THAT DAY IN SEPTEMBER by Artie Van Why

Most of us can still remember where we were on the morning of September 11, 2001, while others can never forget.

Author Artie Van Why is one such person. He was working in the office building across from the World Trade Center on that faithful day. He came out of his building to find out what was happening only to see people jumping to their death in front of him. As he and hundreds of others ran from the area, he encountered people that remain with him today.

THAT DAY IN SEPTEMBER is the story of Van Why’s journey beginning with his move to New York, the tragedy, its aftermath, and how he continues to heal.

Van Why details his thoughts and feelings the morning of Sept. 11. He vividly recalls the events that went on around him during those terrifying hours that morning. He tells of how he and the city responded when faced with such destruction. He relays how it felt to be in the city in the days that followed. He doesn’t describe himself as a hero or a victim, just as one who was there and survived.

Weeks following the crash, the city tried to return to some sort of normal routine. Van Why describes how the devastation continued to haunt him and how he learned to deal with those feelings as he began to truly live his life.

Though this book deals with the tragic loss of life and a world as we knew it, it is also a story of inspiration and healing. It’s a story of one man’s determination to carry on after the tragedy and live his life to the fullest as a tribute to those who lost their lives. He will never forget and will always remember how precious life is.

Author Artie Van Why can be found on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/ThatDayInSeptember

That Day in September by Artie Van Why, Van Hughes Publishing, @2007, ASIN: B001201BQY, Kindle Edition, 135 KB

FTC Full Disclosure - This book and it was sent to me by the author in hopes I would review it. However, receiving the complimentary copy did not influence my review.

Please join me on Sunday, Sept. 11, (the 10th anniversary of this tragedy) when author Artie Van Why will be guest blogging to tell more of his story.