If you
dropped by here last month, I hope you got to know author Antoinette Truglio
Martin during her WOW! Women on Writing Tour for her latest release, HUG
EVERYONE YOU KNOW.
Well here’s
a brief reminder of what the book is about and then the author joins us to
answer some of my questions about her book and writing.
During
2017's National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, She Writes Press published
Antoinette Truglio Martin’s touching memoir, Hug Everyone You Know:
A Year of Community, Courage, and Cancer. It is a 2017 USA Best Book Awards
Finalist in Non-Fiction: Narrative and a 2018 Next Generation Indie Book
Finalist: Non-Fiction Women's Issues.
In
2007, Antoinette believed her call back doctor appointment was routine, maybe a
scare, nothing worse. Her shock at receiving a Stage I breast cancer diagnosis
was instantly compounded by her own deep fears. As a self-described wimp—afraid
of needles and uncomfortable with sedation—how was she going to get through
this?
Antoinette
started her fight against cancer with words. She began by journaling and by
writing emails to Her Everyone—the large close-knit family and circle of
beloved friends wanting to offer their support, especially those who were
fighting breast cancer alongside her. The emails not only helped to keep Her
Everyone informed, they gave cancer less of a presence in Antoinette’s life,
since she wasn’t repeatedly updating people or saying the word “cancer” over
and over. The practice of writing calmed her and also gave her space to focus
on living: on the house that wasn’t selling, an exciting new job, daughters in
college, and summer beach plans. She signed every email with the reminder to
“hug everyone you know.”
Those
emails and journal entries are at the heart of this memoir, which gives the
book an immediacy and raw power.
Now join
me in welcoming Antoinette back to Thoughts. Welcome, Antoinette.
What compelled you to share your writings in a book?
Antoinette
I journaled through the first
year of Stage 1 breast cancer treatment in a shabby notebook. Cancer didn't
deserve a pretty journal. Because it was so difficult to talk about and repeat
what was going to happen and would have happened, I found that emailing my
family and friends to be so much easier. I did not have to articulate or hear
the cancer words. The writing also helped me see what was important and strive
to be part of the story rather than a sad sidebar.
I saved the journal and emails with the plan that I could
write a light, whimsical book about breast cancer. The problem was when I
started to compile and begin the process; I re-lived the fear all over again.
Cancer was not a whimsical journey. So I
put everything away, never wanting to face cancer again.
Almost five years after treatment, cancer did
return. I now have metastatic breast
cancer—Stage IV. There is no cure. It's forever. I was really scared and so
much wimpier. I dug up that shabby journal and those emails. I disregarded the
idea of whimsical. I focused on being honest and included the authentic voices
from the emails.
What was the most difficult and/or easiest part of
putting this book together?
Antoinette
It was hard to write. I didn't want to confront that fear
again especially now that it is so much more serious, and I am going to have to
live with it. But it was a good exercise. I understood what I needed to do. And
I have been very fortunate, so very fortunate that this new tumor was caught so
early before any real damage. So far, treatment has not been debilitating nor
does it intrude on every day too much. I can make the cancer a story in my
life; not the story of my life.
What would you encourage people not to do or say when
talking with someone who has or has had cancer?
Antoinette
No one wants to hear of an aunt, neighbor, or the
supermarket cashier who had lost all of her hair, or whose husband left her, or
who died from breast cancer. It is more important to be a listener. Hugs work
really well, too.
What one thing do you wish people would ask you, that no
one has?
Antoinette
“What do you want to do?”
What's your favorite way of relaxing?
Antoinette
I like to walk the beach, sail, and watch a sunset over a
body of water.
 |
| Author Antoinette Truglio Martin |
Antoinette
Truglio Martin is a life-long Long Islander, teacher, wife, mother, daughter,
and friend. She is the author of Hug Everyone You Know: A Year of Community,
Courage, and Cancer—a memoir chronicling her first-year battling breast
cancer as a wimpy patient. Personal experience essays and excerpts of her
memoir were published in Bridges, Visible Ink, and The Southampton Review.
Antoinette
proudly received her MFA in creative writing and literature from Stony
Brook/Southampton University in 2016. Antoinette had also written the
children's picture book, Famous Seaweed Soup (Albert Whitman and Company), and
was a regular columnist for local periodicals Parent Connections (In a Family
Way) and Fire Island Tide (Beach Bumming).
Her blog,
Stories Served Around The Table, tells family tales and life's musings. She
lives in her hometown of Sayville, New York with her husband, Matt, and is
never far from her “Everyone” and the beaches she loves. Since being diagnosed
with metastatic breast cancer in 2012, she strives to not let cancer to dictate
her life.
Thanks so
much for stopping by today. Have you started hugging those you know?
Telling someone with cancer that they know someone who died of it is a really crappy thing to say anyway!
ReplyDeleteThank you both (so much) for this follow up.
ReplyDeleteI volunteer on a crisis line and have learned the importance of listening. Really listening.
And have to ask Antoinette, What DO you want to do? And wish her luck with whatever it is.